Author’s Note: The following letter is correspondence from a tempter demon on earth to the father of lies, Satan. Everything that Satan says in reply may or may not be truthful, for sure.
My human is too humble. What can I do to instill a sense of pride into his psyche?
It has come to my attention that you didn’t attend one our classes down here on pride. Pride, as we all know, is one of the easiest and best ways to get your human puppet on the slippery slope to our dinner table. It seems incomprehensible to me that you didn’t take the time to attend this class, so I will expect to hear from you as to why you missed it.
I myself invented pride when I tried to rightfully assume the throne of the Enemy Above many eons ago. I have successfully used this weapon with mankind over the centuries. In the Garden of Eden, for example, I played to the first humans’ sense of pride by suggesting to them that “Ye shall be as gods.” They took the bait and ran with it, and now look at all the fun we have on a daily basis – murder, mayhem, raping and pillaging, bombings, dissension, divorce, war, rampant homosexuality, etc. And all because Adam and Eve wanted to be like HIM.
There are four human characteristics that are particularly useful to us when we play the Pride card. The first of these four is beauty. Most beautiful humans were born that way, and they had absolutely nothing to do with their appearance. All of that was decided by the Enemy Above many years ago, when HE first designed a plan for each and every human that HE would eventually create. However, human pride whispers to their psyche, along with me, of course, that they are fantastic and wonderful human beings merely because of the way their skin is stretched over their skull, and they therefore have every “right” to expect all others to do their bidding, because of their looks. To them, the ugly humans are somehow less deserving of life’s pleasures, and can then be assumed to be worth less in the eyes of “the world.” Thanks to the advances of science (another great subject for another time, perhaps!) and modern medicine, ugly people are now spending small fortunes going under the knife to make themselves into something they believe they are not – beautiful. In so doing, they are thwarting the plan that our Enemy Above had for them, and so we have that going for us. They are thus eliminating a cross that they were supposed to carry throughout their lifetime. All of this kind of thinking is enhanced greatly by our friends in “the media,” in Hollywood, and on Madison Avenue, who glorify beauty as being the one qualification over all others that is necessary to be in magazines, to read the news on TV, to be in the movies, etc. As a reminder, when the beauty is taken away through fires, wrecks, cuts, getting old, etc., it is devastating to the humans, and then suicide becomes a real possibility for them. So whisper that to them when the time is right!
The second of the four characteristics is money. People who have lots of money usually put most, if not all, of their faith in it. Not faith in HIM, or faith in their family, or faith in their country, or faith in their good works, but instead, faith in their total tonnage of green, dirty, stinky money in their bank account. HE said that it will be harder for a rich man to get into heaven than for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, but most people ignore HIM and desire the pursuit of the big bucks instead. Thanks be to me! If we are fortunate enough to have humans with both beauty and money, most of our devilish work is already done for us. People like that are usually found in Hollywood, making depraved movies that are a glory unto me. Lots of bare skin along with fornication and adultery is portrayed on the large screen, for the pleasure of the bored ugly people, who are thus beguiled, all the while being programmed in their minds that recreational sex has no bad consequences! The amusing thing is that it is all done under the guise of “entertainment.” It is indeed entertaining for us to see all of the gullible uglo-humans, our future buffet, staring at the movie screen in total adulation, wishing all of the time that they could be just like the beautiful actors and young starlets, imitating the orgy of flesh. We, like steak eaters on earth, have to kill our food before we eat it. As they say, “There’s no business like show business!”
The third characteristic is power. This aphrodisiac is one of those things that can actually be achieved by penniless, ugly people, like our human disciples Hitler and Stalin. Through sheer ruthlessness, these great leaders of men captivated the hearts (Yum!) of whole countries, and then made those countries reflect their personal view of unbelief, hate, and ruthlessness through war, starvation, mass murder, and executions. An atheist in total control of a country is a beautiful thing to behold. Those were great days for us back in the early 20th century, but we seemed to have lost out on the “powerful leaders” strategy lately. As a result, we are having to resort to the “beauty and money” strategies of pride, which certainly camouflages our demonic efforts, because even the so-called “good Christians” seem to enjoy ogling beauty and getting rich.
The fourth and final pride topic of discussion today is talent. The Enemy Above distributes talent to each and every human, but not the same kind, and not in the same amount. As a result, some humans are great artists, some are great athletes, some are great carpenters, some are great writers, some are great singers, and some are great actors. Of course, these humans had absolutely nothing to do with having this talent residing in their bodies, but, thanks be to me, they believe that they had everything to do with being great at their craft. As a result, pride sets in and most of them look down their noses at the rest of mankind as being lazy and dumb, and not worthy of any attention whatsoever, which is exactly what we want.
We have even managed to disguise Pride by calling it different names – Self-esteem, “I Am Somebody,” self-worth, etc. All of these actions put the human first over HIM, as well as their fellow man, and that always leads to selfishness, divorce, murder, and so on. Our Enemy Above would actually have them believe that putting the other fellow first with self-sacrifice is more important than anything else. HE even said that HE “was incarnated to serve, and not to be served, and that no slave is greater than his master.” Praise and honor be to me, though, that all of that claptrap has been forgotten or pushed aside by most of the humans. Now, self-esteem is actually taught in their classrooms, rather than washing the feet of one’s lessers. “Me first” is now the golden rule, and all of that “do unto others” talk has now been pushed aside for instant self-gratification.
Now that you have received this mini-training session from me on Pride, don’t forget to use the other arrow in your quiver, Envy. All of those people who aren’t beautiful, or rich, or powerful, or talented, all really want to be at least one of those things, and maybe more. So, work on them, and whisper to them that they have been cheated in life’s lottery, and that they should do whatever it takes to get whatever they want. Play on their fears of being penniless, and tell them that if they only had good looks, or were born with a large inheritance, that they could have all that the world offers. Never let them think for a minute that they are to have total trust in their loving Father (ugh!) in Heaven above, who is always looking out for them. Rather, have them put their faith in themselves, and in all of that “pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps” philosophy. Make them totally believe in the Ben Franklin quote that “HE only helps those who help themselves.” Whisper to their psyche, “Self-reliance over total trust in HIM – Just do it!”
Remember, those who slip through your claws by placing all of their trust in the Enemy Above will never make their way down here to our dinner table, and you will be held accountable for that.
Keep up the bad work . . .